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The Up Here Place

by Look Vibrant

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1.
All of my time spent scatterbrained for hours, Keeps coming back like an asshole when I try to be a man I feel the shakes, pull out the ol’ mistakes, And search around for a better me in a sweater in a lake But since I am a boy I’ve got lots of need, lots of needs I wanna get a dog, want him to love me All of your time spent moving in a room, Spent dreaming about Stravinksy, oh how I wanna touch your heart I’ll bet it’s big, and it can barely fit, And it can hardly stand by and watch you as you cry Did you let me be a son? I should’ve had rougher hands at thirteen I should’ve had a ho digging in the bad soil. All that I want, I want to be awake I don’t want to be afraid of the fakes I want to consume, and I’ve wanted you Hell I’ve counted the yous since you came in the room. Oh you pretty thing you, Oh you precious thing you Got lost in the dark, Lalala Oh you pretty thing you, Oh you precious thing you Lamented the spark, Lalala
2.
Look at these kids I’m gonna mug’em They’re small and dumb and probably useless I will be the last one to survive And when I do I’ll need this sharp knife And I will be the last one to succumb to the tundra’s bite And I said I’d be calm, but I will not be kind Smashing bottles in my mind Than I start to think “WHERE’S THE PARTY AT?” When I see them down the road, Smash a bottle on a pole I am sorry mom, but you bore and you tire me I can always outrun the cops and the bosses that fire me And I can always outsmart these punks and teach ‘em how to endure Cause a lot is the place for the brave and the mature They said I would be the last one to mature I would be the last one to mature I will be my countries shining cure I will be my mother’s son - I’ll be pure. No, I will be the last one to survive I will be the last one to survive I will break the make-belief that keeps you boys from breaking teeth I will be the last one to survive.
3.
My Old City 03:49
If I see you down the road getting plastered I’ll tell you you’re a prick I’ll tell you you’re a fuck If you see me standing here with my cellphone Don’t try to talk to me I’ll tell you to get fucked There’s a candle in my room that never goes out I know it wants to God knows it wants to I’ve been dead for seven years and I can’t stand it All my fake friends My Mercedes Benz My old city wasn’t see through There was violence and girls I couldn’t talk to My old life it was better Call me crass but hereafter I get underwhelmed a lot I’ve been sitting here all night and I’m too bored With my cigarette With my pet pig Having everything I want gets so stale Like some old bread Like a bad baguette If my mom were here she’d tell me I’d be fine With some good rest I’ll be in proper health Haven’t slept since the day I went running That pickup truck Had a nasty grin My old city wasn’t see through There was violence and girls I couldn’t talk to My old life it was louder I was crazed but these days I’m just a coward When I was granted chips ahoy I felt a pang of joy and When I thought I lost my shit I felt at least annoyed and When I fought my fights with you I felt at least cathartic And when I lost my life I know I can’t even imagine My old city wasn’t see through There was violence and girls I couldn’t talk to My old life it was better Call me crasser hereaft… call me a thorn in the grass, oh and My position is stale There’s no wind and no need to raise a sail My old vision is clouded Now I’m pissed and now I’m missing what… I used to wish I was
4.
My Nerves 03:38
Promise me I’ll not get back on my nerves You’re not the one at fault here Promise me I’ll not get back on my nerves Promise me I’ll not get back Before you return to sober mind You would escape all my questions Before you’re forced to lie If only I ever knew what’s best Promise me I’ll not get back on my nerves You’re not the one at fault here Promise me I’ll not get back on my nerves God let me just accept a flaw I’m afraid to sleep by myself at night Please stay close to me my lover You are the one I can’t leave behind If only I could put my doubts to rest For keeps ‘Til I’m grown ‘Til the creaks in my bones cease Christ I’m crazy Surely a coward Like an overprotective power But when those drugs Steal you away I get jealous I feel so ashamed Promise me I’ll not get back on my nerves You’re not the one at fault here Promise me I’ll not get back on my nerves When I see nothing but the facts
5.
Here I 00:38
6.
Cauliflower 05:15
Satire me baby When my words come out empty I try to croon But I prune out the truth until there’s nothing What did I do with your hair Your shower wet hair in the night time I’ll let it dry Like straw for the horse that pulls the hayride What have I done with your snarky eyes Stark but starry eyes I turned them white and red like lips and teeth What have I done with your blackish hair Think before I speak It’s brown it’s… It’s black it’s.. Been demonized, You cut it off like it was Mary Queen of Scotts You cut it off like you ought to I’ve been unhealthy And I’m craving a pastry Craving some time Time to try being sincere Or just think of what it means be sincere Ditchin the nightlife To forget about What I have done to your gauzy sigh Soakin up the sky that turned you white to red like bone to meat What have I done to your glassy stare Think before I speak… You cut it off like it was mary queen of scotts You cut it off like it was nothing Hold me, I am so embarrassed When I croon Stop me when I think too much and Kill the mood/ keep my Scold me when I’m being rash and And call my ruse What have I done with your starry eyes, haunt me in the night I turn them white like cauliflower What have I done with your quiet eyes, used for only sight, I turned them red cause I’m regretfully a coward.
7.
Here II 02:31
8.
Spelling Bee 03:59
9.
You know what all my friends late in life will call me Dumb, blind, I averted my eyes to the fact that youth was fleeting Still I kept my head high and tried to see it The light that drives common sense away
10.
You don't need us to make the colours You only need us to make them bright The loneliness that comes to mind When you're slipping off the seesaw of your pride The monsters they are all tongue tied And the facts they get all garburated Swimming in a sink of troubles Waiting for their mothers to hold them Waiting for their lovers to hold them Before they die We've been there during breaks at lunches And when your night is rougher than the rest The moon it stares at you in jest And the sidewalk looks so drab and uninviting Your mother isn't watching you now No more need to wait and test the vicious waters Your shield sure can take a stab Why suffer through the boredom of it Rail a line Numb your spirit Sleeping around Got me unwound Thoughts lost and found
11.
Easier 04:36
Leave it up to me And I’ll get tongue-tied Swallow every word I wanna say And when I’m heard I’ll shy away From what I’m speaking What I’m doing, what I’m preaching It’s unintended Please forgive me That time we first spoke You had a glaze over your eyes Maybe the coke had spiked your high Or I projected An image, a reflection Of what I wanted to see When I stare at you It’s apparent That my learning curve was steep But I’ve found what I should keep I think I know it Should I show it? Should I show it? My doubts My thoughts Scare me sometimes For once I can Carry my own You make It so much easier You make it so easy So easy I thought I was dumb Or misguided Thought my stubbornness was key In aiding the belief of my affection A romanticized invention I’m fucking crazy Please forgive me Finally I have learned To let go of what’s behind me Tug your mitten right beside me Hopefully We’ll play like pups Until we’ve lost our energy

credits

released April 6, 2018

Look Vibrant is:
Justin Lazarus
Matthew Murphy
Alex Rand
Eli Kaufman

Recorded and Produced by Andrew David and Look Vibrant

Mastered by Joe Lambert

Artwork by Stacey Rozich

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This project is funded in part by FACTOR, the Government
of Canada and Canada’s private radio broadcasters.

Ce projet est financé en partie par FACTOR, le gouvernement
du Canada et les radiodiffuseurs privés du Canada.

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Look Vibrant Montreal, Québec

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