Time to think about the place you’ll lay when you have died Time to ponder all the options, casket, plot and price. Will a bench be made and put where you had loved to walk? Will 100 words be wrote to sum your essence up? In the thick of night, I pray that ghosts are real. In the thick of night I dream and actually feel God forbid I actually tear up while awake Fear the force at which my world would surely shake Kind of fun to know at least that’s where we’ll all end up In a mound of dirt or burnt to merely dirt itself and What customs will we keep to pay you your homage? Will I tie balloons to your tomb when your birthday comes? Will I write an op-ed, get it published in the Star? ‘Bout that stupid piece of shit who caused you so much harm Take his stethoscope and hang him by the neck, too far? Burn his p.h.d and slash the tires of his car No one knows a thing about this cruel eclipse Used to walk 10 K, but now it hurts to sit Motionless, you yearned to move, but lost your hip Wonder if all failing bodies feel like this? Patience, scoffs the reaper, fingers ‘round your throat. You’re a fighter, but I fear you’ve missed the boat. If the cancer doesn’t kill you, then the drugs will Stomached this before, but now you’ve had your fill.

If I were to come out the closet I'm sure that my father would reach down my throat Tear out the baby inside me And tear out my heart cause it is his investment Does he do it to protect some ideal? Re-up on my spouse's prescription I am the sole harbinger of her insulin I dutifully suffer through marriage I dutifully wait by my family’s deathbed Pick up a stranger and blow him Cause duty should never infringe on your secrets If my father could he'd haunt my spirit So I know to keep it guarded Do I do it to protect some ideal?

One more tyrant One more liar broke Beat his skull in Until he became woke Don’t stop now though Persist until we’ve won Defend your values We know they weigh a ton Evil stops for me Watch me triumph Outwit the lesser foe Flex my rhetoric When I go toe to toe With those bigots Those over privileged scum God graced man machine

I was the only man in my life They jailed my son, my only one I have felt a guilt that you could never understand To fail my son, act fast and run If I’d put up a fuss - foot down - or made a mess I woulda landed with him in the bin at best At worst I would have landed in the bin all alone Then would it have been worth it? I really don’t know I do believe in growth and rebuilding from the shit My son believed it better. He's the one that paid for it My son believed it better. He’s the one that paid for it And luck, it only came in the shape of a plane And luck it only choose, the ones prepared to lose A man who makes a man leaves two (That’s untrue) Cause if you lose the second one you lose your title too I was the only man in my life exactly twice I do believe he’ll make it - I really do, I really do, I really want to be the one to see it through But when I'm under fire I am wholly powerless And luck, it only came in the shape of a plane And luck it only choose, the ones prepared to lose I was the only man in my life I have felt a guilt that you could never understand I failed my son

If he comes Death can suck my thumb My body’s broke But my soul can pump iron Watch me keep a smile While my world crumbles Hopeful, but I’m not thick My pain is not unique The bell will clang And I should hang his coat We’ll feast on lamb Delicious honey puffs And he’ll proclaim You’ve been a good man, but… Illness maims And I deserve a cut Been here for a while I’m not selfish If he wants me now, well He can have me I’m not afraid

Plagued by the notion There comes a time when you’ll be swept away by the ocean If I don’t fend it off with my bucket Collecting drop by drop by drop by drip by drop Wait just a minute I need to pause this fucked disaster Scared of losing you You’re scared of losing me too And I know you try hard To keep me far from worry But I’ve got some questions A bucketful, an ocean’s worth They’re ready to spill out Before your memory’s a mystery To me I’ll never find all the answers in time Thinking my love is just on the surface

Am I doing right? Better than my twin? He’s the sort of coward with the lights down dim Who switches off the noise And eases when the bath runs Who lose himself to salts and to loves-to-come I will find my cause I am nothing like him Me I won’t be singing in the shower till I’m dead And rid of nauseous guilt And thanked by humble children After we tear up the laws that suck Do you cherish everything? Cause I feel fearful in the face of cherishing

Please throw away the door it is bad it opens poor and I think the cleaner air would be better for sure Sure acting like a boy You reject, you deploy Every tactic that you know Every lowest blow Quit blockin out room I got plans, happening soon Cross your eyes till I'm a blur Cross your ears, I can't be heard Cross my heart, hope to die I got kids with lives And they'd love to see me too I’ve got nothing else to prove Violence, violence, what a bore Border cop got a cold sore Violence violence violence Languages, language you got yours You got violence in store Shuv me lemme lick the floor Keep your love in the indoors And never loose your lover Language, language, language use All that I got is the good truth Bet as a child you were full with a zeal for the law Bet on the playground - on the ground as a boy -you’d protect them all And when every second day when those shitheads came your way and beat your ass good And when the shit shit heads got you down, you’d be found - Inside the cave you forever hide in Violence, violence, what a bore Border cop got a cold sore Violence violence violence Languages, language you got yours You got violence in store Shuv me lemme lick the floor Keep your love in the indoors And never loose your lover Language, language, language use All that I got is the good truth Violence violence what a trap You need something to stab at I’m your easy target Foaming, sheltered and confused Till I come to the rescue To save you from the things that you don't understand To tokenize the face of what you don’t understand I know you feel safer when you don’t understand You stop me cause I’m something that you don’t understand